There haven’t been that many good police reports in our local newspaper lately, but here are the the few highlights:

First off, we have a new winner (or should I say serious loser) in the blood alcohol content category.  And the DWI prize goes to a 29 year old man whose BAC was .388   Yikes!

Next is “A red men’s bicycle was reported stolen April 4 on the XXX block of XXth Avenue N.E. The seat from the bike was stolen the previous week.”

One really has to wonder whether the seat thieves came back to finish the job, or whether this guy just has really bad luck.

And finally “A plastic, bronze fairy fountain was reported stolen from a backyard on May 23rd.”

Shockingly the report doesn’t mention any outraged neighbors calling for the fountain’s immediate return…

Recent police report from our area:

“A box of Tagalongs Girl Scout cookies was reported stolen from an unlocked vehicle 7:21a.m. Feb. 27…”

The police have not arrested anyone in the case, but Cookie Monster is a prime suspect…

This is a picture of a cookie.  One of a batch I made back in September of 2008 to announce Alethea’s pending arrival.  This cookie survived 3 months in the log cabin we were renting, a move into our current house and 11 long months sitting on our kitchen counter next to the knife block, for a grand embarrassing total of 14 months awaiting its close-up.  I’m afraid that if things aren’t big and in the way, or pressingly urgent, I just don’t do them and that is a bad habit.  Sigh.  Well, the cookie has been photographed and is now in… well, it’s gone, let’s just put it that way.

My kitchen is a mess.  Normally that would really bother me, but at the moment I feel rather triumphant, because amidst the measuring cups and spoons, mixing bowls and various ingredients sit six rather beautiful homemade waffle cones.

It all started yesterday when I went to Target and there on the clearance rack was a waffle cone maker.  Not only did it look like a fun and fabulous item (I mean the people on the box are grinning from ear to ear holding their ice cream cones) but it was only twelve dollars and fifty cents!  I knew that in purchasing such an item I risked Peter rolling his eyes at me when he came home and saw it sitting on the counter, but I couldn’t resist!  Sure enough the waffle cone maker was met with some initial hesitation, but all that was forgot this afternoon when the smell of fresh-baked waffle cones began wafting through the house, so much so that Peter made a voluntary grocery store run to pick up some ice cream for himself and some sorbet for me.

As I sit and soak in the glory of the moment, I am tempted to conclude that this may be my best Target clearance purchase ever.  How ’bout you?  What’s yours?

Okay, so I know my last police reports post wasn’t that long ago, but I just couldn’t resist sharing these recent happenings:

First of all, there were several DUIs, which unfortunately is completely normal, but I noticed that one of the offenders had a BAC of .30!  How is it even possible that man could manage to climb into a car, let alone attempt to drive it.  Yikes!

The winner of the oddest item taken from a car goes to the report stating “a pair of fake diamond hoop earrings and a black stun gun were reported stolen from a vehicle.”  I am left wondering if those items belonged to the same person or not.  It intrigues me either way!

But the report that tops them all is:

“A robbery was reported at 2:13am on September 16th.  Two men, displaying knives approached a man delivering pizza.  The two men demanded and took…”

His money right?……  No…..

“The two men demanded and took the pizzas before leaving.”

Rest assured though you pizza loving public:

“Police later located and arrested the robbery suspects.”

Those must have been some hungry men.

___________________________________________________________________________________

On an unrelated note:

GO TWINS!  Beat those Yankees!

Tonight Peter and I went to see what may very well be our last ever Twins game at the Metrodome.  As those of you in the Twin Cities probably know, the Twins will be playing in the brand new Target Field come next summer.  We got to see a fantastic game and spend a whole 5 hours baby free!  (Thanks to Grandma Debbie and Grandpa Chris for watching Alethea.)

While we’re excited about outdoor baseball coming to Minnesota next summer, it is a little sad to see the dome go since Peter and I have had lots of fun dating memories there.  At a time like this, I feel it’s only fitting to say, “Goodbye Metrodome with your horrible acoustics and bad seating layout.  Thanks for the memories.”

So I had this money making idea the other day, and I thought I would run it by all of you to see what you think.  You can be my test market, so to speak.

My moment of inspiration came as I was trying to make myself presentable to leave the house and run errands.  As part of the process I had to change my shirt with the massive spit up spot on the shoulder and all down the arm (there might have been some on the front of the shirt too, I can’t exactly recall).  Anyway, I started thinking that people (not me, but people) pay perfectly good money to buy jeans that already have holes ripped in them.  If there is a market for that, could there be a market for pre-spit up on shirts?  Because if there was, I could just sell shirts like that and then, not only would I make money, but if my shirts became the next big thing, I would never again have to change my shirt before leaving the house because of a silly spit-up spot.  I could just tell people, “Oh no, Alethea didn’t spit up on me, this is just my Gucci sweater.  It’s the latest thing.”

So what do you think?  Should I be calling the people at Armani?  Or do you think it would be wise to keep my day job?

Let me start out by saying that I don’t mind watching sports on TV.  In fact, if it’s Twins baseball, I actually enjoy watching it.  Other sports are fine in moderation as well and I try not to get on Peter’s case too much even when he watches games/teams/sports that I couldn’t care less about.

But every now and then I catch Peter watching sporting events that have already taken place.  Apparently we get a channel known as ESPN Classic and allegedly the games they show are so famous and fabulous they are worth watching even though everyone knows who wins and what they have to do be victorious.  At least, this is what I have been told.

Whenever I realize that such a “classic” is on our TV, I have to stop and ask Peter, “Why are you watching this?”  And he will inevitably answer, “This is the game where so-and-so does such-and-such.”  And then I say, “If you already know that is going to happen, why do you need to watch it happen?”  To which I have yet to receive a satisfactory explanation.

For the good of my marriage, I suppose I should leave it alone, but I just wanted to say for the record, I really don’t get it.

Okay, so I have a confession to make.  Every week I eagerly wait for our local newspaper to arrive in our mailbox.  Now, I would like to tell you that it is because I am very civic minded and enjoy reading about the many wonderful things happening in our community and ways I can get involved, but that’s just not true.  Honestly, I just love reading the police reports.  Peter and I have a good time imagining the people and situations behind the news.

Take for example the report in the paper this past winter about a snowman getting his head knocked off.  Peter figures that only some cranky old man would report a snowman getting decapitated.  “Those gosh darn kids!” But I don’t think that kind of guy builds a snowman in the first place, so that one mystified us a bit.

Another favorite of mine was the car that was reported stolen.  According to the report, the distinguishing feature of the car was a bumper sticker that said “Drive it like you stole it.” I guess they did.

More recently, there was one about a pair of night vision goggles being stolen from a residence.  I asked Peter, “What sort of person has night vision goggles laying around their home?” Peter said, “Your brother.”  I said, “Oh, yeah, I guess that could happen to anyone, really.”

While we have fun with our current newspaper, we miss the reports of the paper we used to get when we lived further outside the cities last year.  Plastic lawn chairs going missing, neighbors dogs in the chicken coop, various animals out on the loose.  Oh, and I’ll never forget my all time favorite, the guy who couldn’t get the police to come get rid of the people who were hunting (legally) on the property next to his.  So he ran an extension cord down to his property line, hooked up a boom box and played music at them as loud as he could.  The police did end up coming to issue a citation, but they gave it to the guy with the boom box, not the hunters.

You just can’t make this stuff up!

To make up for my uncivic reveling in the police reports, I did scan the rest of the latest paper.  Turns out applications are being taken for married women interested in becoming the next Mrs. Minnesota.  There is no swimsuit competition, but there is a personal interview as well as an aerobic wear competition.  Huh?

Like I said, you really can’t make this stuff up!

Speaking of flag day, my friend Keity was over yesterday, but she had to leave to go to a “Ringing in Flag Day” party.  Talk about any excuse to have a party! Keity said this friend throwing the party goes all out with Red, White and Blue decorations for her annual flag day party.

This got me reminiscing about parties and fun themes.  The best theme party I’ve ever thrown was for Peter’s birthday last year.  We were living in a log cabin at the time, so Red Neck party seemed like a great theme.  We played Lynyrd Skynyrd, had NASCAR balloons and played with the plastic dart shooting shotgun I found at the dollar store.  My favorite decorative touch though was the Christmas lights haphazardly wrapped around the front porch, only two of the six strands blinking.  It was a fun theme and a fun party.  Plus I got to see what Peter would look like with a mullet:

How ’bout you?  What’s the craziest/funniest/weirdest theme/excuse for a party that you’ve ever participated in?  I’d love to hear about it!