I just changed my third poopy diaper of the day.  Peter and I often talk about how nice it will be when our lives don’t revolve around our children’s bowel movements.  Then we we can quit having conversations like this:

“When was the last time Lydia pooped?  I think it might have been two weeks ago.”

“No, I’m pretty sure I changed one earlier this week.”

And…

“Don’t give Alethea any oranges for dinner.  She’s already had one today and her diapers lately have been really gross.”

Truly, there are many joys in parenthood.  This isn’t one of them…

I do however enjoy thinking about what my children might be passionate about when they get older.  As of today, I’m convinced Alethea will be an artist.  Check out the installation she put together overnight:

We call it So Many Hangers, Nothing to Wear

Yup, she’s definitely the next Andy Warhol.

After I got so many comments and e-mails all saying ‘go for it!’ following my first potty training post, I asked Alethea if she’d like me to get her a potty chair so she could learn to use the toilet by herself.  She said, “Okay!”  (And yes, I am taking that with a grain of salt.  I also asked her if she’d like an Oompaloompa to go with it and her answer was, “Okay!”)

Anyway, today during my weekly trip to Target, I stopped by the baby section to look at potty chairs.  Now I was hoping there would be two or three to choose from.  What I wasn’t prepared for was having a dozen styles sitting before me on the shelf:

My options ranged from just a simple plastic lift-out bowl in a simple plastic seat, to chairs with lots of bells and whistles.  Suddenly I was confronted with choices I hadn’t even dreamed of prior to walking down that aisle.  Did I want the seat to lift off and sit on the grownup toilet to make the transition to big toilet easier?  Did I want the base to convert into a step-stool?  Did I want the potty to look like a frog, a racecar, a throne, or of all things, a toilet?  Many played music, a couple had padded seats, a few sported toilet paper holders…

I was overwhelmed.

Then I asked myself what would be most appealing to Alethea?  The answer was clearly, this one:

It plays music, has a handle to ‘flush’ and even tells you when you’ve done a good job.  Yeah, I was pretty sure Alethea would like it.  So, I was going to buy it, even though it was the most expensive one and it didn’t convert into a step stool (which seemed like a nice feature for when Alethea was ready to move up to using the real toilet).  But then I looked at the box a little closer and noticed this:

That’s right folks.  It doesn’t just play music, it has “Encouraging songs with lyrics and fun phrases”!

Suddenly in my mind’s eye, I caught a glimpse of Alethea singing those lyrics and repeating those fun phrases in a public place.  Lovely.

The ‘Cheer for Me! Potty’ went back on the shelf.

I ended up selecting this one instead:

It is the Royal Stepstool Potty, which was $10 cheaper than the Cheer For Me model, and as the name implies, it does convert to a stepstool to prolong its usefulness.  Plus Alethea will be rewarded for ‘contributions’ with “regal musical ditties and fun sound effects”, which sounded a lot safer to me than “encouraging lyrics”.

I think I made the right choice.  Alethea is still taking her nap, so she hasn’t gotten to weigh in on the matter yet, but really… who needs a retractable toilet paper holder anyway??!?!

For a while now I’ve been wondering what the best timing would be to start potty training Alethea.  For several months now she has been showing some of the ‘signs of readiness’ (telling me before or right after she poops, not liking when her diaper is soiled, being interested in the toilet), but since we were expecting a baby/had a newborn in the house, I decided it could wait.

Then the other day when Alethea was in the bathtub she sat up against the side and told me, “Potty.”  I asked her if she was pretending to sit on the toilet.  Then she repeated, “Potty,” and proceeded to urinate in the bath water.

Okay, so she might be more ready than I realized.

But here’s the thing.  I’m not sure I’m ready.  I mean, I know everyone talks about how great it is to leave diapers behind, but I’m wondering, is it really all that wonderful?

So I made a list of pros and cons for potty training.  First the cons:

1) At this young age, it will probably mean several weeks of hassle and power struggles to get Alethea potty trained.

2) When you’re out in public you always need to know where a restroom is, just in case.

3) When you’re out in public you have to let your toddler use a dirty bathroom (and in my case, drag an infant in there as well).

4) Unless we buy a freestanding potty chair (which I’m not sold on), I’ll have to help Alethea get on and off the toilet for a long time anyway, so it’s not like I’ll gain a bunch of free time, and in fact, it will probably take more of my time during the day.

5) And lastly… accidents happen and I hate messes.

Here’s my pros:

1) It would save us money.  I estimate that we spend $20-$30 a month on Alethea’s diapers and wipes.

2) Let’s face it, no one really loves changing diapers, and I’m no exception.

That’s it. Two pros. Five cons.  So I’m dragging my feet, but maybe it’s only because I haven’t made it to the other side of the potty training road yet.  Is the grass truly greener there?  Maybe some of the more experienced parents out there can tell me, are there great advantages to having a potty trained kid?

Alethea is our first-born child.  Thus, I’m sure we’re making all sorts of mistakes in our parenting, but I’ve always taken comfort in the thought that at least she’s young enough that our mistakes won’t make much of an impression on her yet.  After all, at this age, how long could her memory actively retain things?  A week or two, maybe a month?

Turns out I was wrong.

Yesterday we were outside shoveling the snow off the back deck.  I had a big shovel and Alethea had a little one.

During a break from snow removal, Alethea pointed at the grill and said, “Hot.”  To which I responded, “The grill is hot when Daddy is cooking food on it, but it isn’t hot right now.”

Alethea’s reply was, “Eat.”

“You like to eat the food that Daddy cooks on the grill, don’t you?”

And then Alethea pointed at the corner of the table where the two benches come together and uttered the words that showed me just how much I’ve been underestimating her memory.  She said, “Eat. Highchair goes here.”

Her meaning couldn’t have been clearer.  When we eat outside, we roll her highchair out of the kitchen right to the very spot she indicated.

Only thing is, we haven’t eaten outside since probably September, maybe the beginning of October.  That means she remembered where her highchair sits for at least four months.

Okay, time for a new plan.

Last night I told Peter, “From now on we have to assume that she will remember everything we say or do and may even repeat it.”

Scary thought.

Yesterday morning Alethea and I left Lydia and Peter at home and hopped into the car to run some errands.  I told Alethea, “We are going to go to the library and we’ll look at books, but first we have to stop at the Post Office and buy stamps.”  And then I reiterated myself several times to avoid a potential meltdown when our first stop wasn’t the beloved library.

We got to the Post Office.  The line was out the door.  They only had one clerk working on Saturday morning.  Not good.

So I told Alethea, “Never mind, Honey.  We’ll get stamps another day.  Let’s just go to the library.”

I thought Alethea would be pleased to be headed to the library.  Boy, was I wrong.

As I took her hand and started walking out the door to the car, she started crying.  I asked her what was wrong.  She sobbed, “Stamps!  Stamps!”

I tried to console her.  “It’s okay.  We’re going to the library.  We’ll get stamps a different day.”

Alethea continued to choke out, “Stamps!  Stamps!” and didn’t calm down until we pulled into the library parking lot.

I thought it was funny.  My little girl crying about not buying stamps when she doesn’t have a clue what a ‘stamp’ even is.

Then this morning I told my friend at church what had happened.

She laughed and then said, “It sounds like you have a structure loving first-born just like my daughter.  When you give them the plan, you’d better follow it to a T, or you’re in trouble.”

Uh-oh…

I was thinking of it as an amusing anecdote, not a life-long personality trait.

It’s suddenly less amusing.

How does one teach a child flexibility?  Because it looks like I’m going to have to figure that out, and quick!

Alethea has been a little clingy lately.  I’m sure she senses that things are changing, being moved into a new room, a steady stream of new things coming into the house ‘for the baby’ and all of the hubbub surrounding Christmas are all probably a bit unsettling.

That’s why I’ve been trying to be extra sensitive and let her have more cuddling, hand holding and being picked up than usual.  However, I think perhaps she’s starting to be take advantage of the situation.

Tonight we did our bedtime routine, said our prayers, sang ‘Jesus Loves Me’ and then I gave her a hug, tucked her in and told her goodnight.  She said ‘hug’ and stood back up.  I gave her another hug, laid her back down and told her good night.  She said ‘hug’ and stood back up.  We repeated the sequence.  She said ‘hug’ for the third time and stood back up.  I said, “You’re stalling, aren’t you?”  She said, “Yeah.”  I told her that she needed to go night-night and she laid back down without another hug and without complaint.

In this case, I feel that I handled it well, but in general, I wish it were easier to know when she really needs emotional support and when she just wants to get away with something by making me feel guilty.  Sometimes I think she’s too smart for her own good.