I saw this illustration the other day and I just had to laugh:

This is so me!  In fact, I told Peter, “I totally need this on a bumper sticker.”

I really can jump to the absolute worst possible conclusion in any given scenario.

Like earlier this week when Alethea was refusing to eat and was complaining all day long that she was ‘So tired!’  And I start thinking, is it possible that my sweet little daughter is depressed?  Or could it be something worse, like cancer?  Worry, worry, worry.

Or like how I’ve been feeling so unintellectual lately.  With my days consumed with diapers, meals and errands, it hardly seems possible that I actually have a B.A. in Philosophy.  I feel that I could be becoming boring to my husband and unable to carry on a conversation about anything other than my children’s eating habits and personality quirks.  I feel insignificant and wonder if others think I am too.  Worry, worry, worry.

Last Sunday in church our pastor referenced the Fruit of the Spirit in passing during his sermon.  It really was a good sermon about a whole other topic, but my mind wandered a bit at that point and I started doing a mental Fruit of the Spirit checklist.  I gave myself a passing grade on a few, but that ‘joy, peace, patience’ combo really was convicting.

Today I gave it some further thought and here’s what I decided… Is all my worrying squashing my joy and stealing my peace?  Most definitely.  Is my lack of joy and peace resulting in a diminished capacity for patience with others, especially my children?  Yes, I think it is.

Do I need an attitude adjustment?  For sure!

“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” – Matthew 6:34

“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” – 1 Peter 5:7

Apparently I need a different bumper sticker: Anxiety Girl! Able to cast all her cares on Jesus in a single throw!

Seriously, how cheesy would that be!?!?

A better idea perhaps, being more deliberate about making sure other activities and commitments don’t crowd out my daily time of prayer and Bible reading.  I always feel so off kilter when I’m not spending time learning and growing in my faith each day.

During this Christmas season, I am resolved that I will not let the business and the fun steal my time alone with God!

Too long for a bumper sticker, perhaps, but I think it’s just what this Anxiety Girl needs.

My best friend once told me that she thought the fourth week after her baby was born was the hardest week of early motherhood.  I think she might be right.  Our fourth week involved a lot of spit up, an obviously uncomfortable baby who couldn’t get to sleep, stomach flu for Alethea, a few not-in-the-diaper pee and poop incidents and lots of sleep deprivation.  Not the best week ever.

While dealing with said issues, I kept composing extremely whiny blog posts in my head, but I have a rule for my blog and that is – if you can’t write something positive, then don’t write anything at all.  But I was tempted… oh was I tempted this week.

Then on Wednesday afternoon, just as I turned on my computer to vent, I got an e-mail from a friend who is expecting her first child soon.  She mentioned that she appreciates my positive take on motherhood and enjoys my blog posts.

Do you think the Good Lord has a sense of humor?

So today, instead of writing a whiny post, I am being thankful.  Not because motherhood is always easy, but because it truly is rewarding and totally worth every ‘pee on the bathroom floor’/’why won’t this kid quit crying’/’stop screaming, you’re going to wake up your sister’ moment.

Thank you, God, for friends, neighbors and family who stop by, bring food and write encouraging e-mails.

Thank you, God, for two healthy, happy, beautiful girls to love and cherish.

Thank you, God, for the financial resources that enable me to spend every day at home being Mommy.  It is where I want to be, even on the hard days.

Thank you, God, for a husband who is loving and supportive and will get up with the baby even when he has to go to work the next morning.

Most of all, God, thank you for sending Jesus, the greatest gift of all, who reminds me that the sacrifices of parenthood are small compared to the many undeserved blessings I’ve received.

Amen.